JIM-is the TRUE Man-of-Steel!

I know most wives think of their husbands as a hero.  But mine truly is.  Let me explain the back story:

Ever since I have known my husband, he has been fat.  Not to be cruel-these are truly his words.  He has never been the Henry Cavill "Superman" with an 8-pack set of abs. (Really, have any of you seen this movie?  I just about DIED.  I have known of Mr. Cavill since "The Tudors, " but OH. MY GOSH!  New man obsession here!)  Flabby, yes.  But I have LOVED every inch of him.  Just like he loves my droopy boobs and flabby legs.  You look past all the flaws and find the heart of the person and that is what defines them and who you love.

Anyway, some time ago, Jim really started to worry about his weight, and I think, his health.  As he said, "I am tired of being the FAT kid."  So he ordered "TAPOUT XT" workout on DVD and began this journey.

Jim's "BEFORE"

I think for the first month or so he killed himself for an hour every night and, although the workouts got easier, he felt nothing happened.  He still had man boobs and the beer gut.  I think he felt a bit discouraged.  However, I could tell.  At first, I saw it in his face and then I noticed that he was having fewer headaches.

He persevered and the day came in June when he was getting dressed for work and his pants did not fit.  They fell off of him.  He looked like he was wearing a tent for a shirt and even his hat was a bit loose.  People even started to comment on how skinny the looked.  Was he ill?  No, just working out for the first time ever in his life!

For the first time, I can see Jim's shoulder blades and collar bones.  I can wrap my arms around him and easily touch my arms together.  His love handles are almost gone and we can both feel his stomach muscles underneath the remainder of his beer gut. I am so proud.

As of today, he has lost 43 pounds.  I don't know how many inches, but enough that this weekend we are buying him a few new pieces of clothing.  He has started the workout over and wants the "TAPOUT XT 2" for Christmas.  He has even Facebooked the trainer and developer, Mike Karpenko.  Mike has messaged Jim back several times to encourage him, and last night, we both were overwhelmed when Mike emailed Jim a custom workout and menu plan, just to help Jim lose that last bit of gut!

Jim's AFTER

To be honest, Jim may never be as handsome or as built as Henry Cavill; and, I think he will always struggle with his weight, but words cannot express how truly proud I am for his perseverance.  He has four kids, an ailing wife, a full-time job; yet, he finds one hour every day to better himself!

He is my Man of Steel- my Superman!  My hero!

Learning curve!

In the past year, I have become a sewer.  Is that a word, "sewer"?  It looks like "sewer."  Wait…I don't mean the underbelly of a city, but that I am learning the art of sewing….  Does that sound better?  Well, anyway, it is a new hobby.

I am not good. One can tell by looking at my hems that math is not my subject.  I also need to go back to preschool to learn what straight lines are.  Seriously, Nicholas could sew a straighter line than I can.  It is frustrating and all I want to be is PERFECT.  Why can't I sew like my mama?

She is a MASTER.  She made me the most beautiful and perfect wedding dress.  Her seams are lovely and her straight lines are scary straight.  I know that she has done this for years, but when I do something I expect it to be the best from the start!  I know this is such a flaw, and I am working on it, but it is so frustrating.

My Custom-Made Dress

However, I am learning that for the most part when I sew something for other people, like a Taggie blanket or burp cloths, people don't see the imperfections, just the lovely sentiment of a homemade gift. It makes me smile-TRULY.

For example, my sister-in-law had her baby shower this past Saturday (she is due September 11 with a baby girl, Evie Magdalena) and along with all of the other things I bought, I made her a Taggie and a set of 5 burp cloths.  What set these apart was the fabric I chose.  Because her husband, Adam, has been nervous about becoming a first time dad at 40 and after almost 9 years of marriage, I decided that this gift should be about him too.

Sis-in-law and the Girlie Bean

If anyone knows Adam, they know he LOVES skulls.  It is an obsession with him.  I think if he were the interior decorator of his and Steph's home it would be Halloween themed with SKULLS.  So, I promptly knew my theme:  Feminine-infant skull chic.  And I had fun!

Thank goodness for Amazon.com-I found 4 swatches of skull designed fabric-pink and sugar skulls.  I found one called "Sleepy Hollow"-purple and black swirls (lavender is the nursery color-purple fits), and at Wal-Mart, I found some very girlie and babyish skull fabric.

My new Hobby!

Well, not only did Steph love it, but Adam gushed and said he would use them with PRIDE!  He thanked me, like, 5 times.  I even got a HUG!

Did he once mention the imperfect seams or hems? NOT ONCE!  So, I will keep doing this sewing thing, and I will LEARN to have fun and I will get better.  My next project is curtains and comforters for Stevie and Nicky's room.

Until next time, I will try to remember that imperfections are okay.

A Confession: My Secret Obsession

I going to put this out there, even with the fear of eye-rolling and judgement.  Those of you who have known me since birth may still eye-roll and judge, but you know this is a PART of me.  I have a secret Pinterest board for this.  Here it is:

I HAVE FOLLOWED THE BRITISH MONARCHY ALL MY LIFE-true story!  I AM IN LOVE WITH THEM!  I BUY THE TRASHY AND NOT SO TRASHY BOOKS ABOUT THEM!

As a young girl, I drew pictures of the Royal weddings. And I wrote stories about how I was a princess in their family. It started young.

Yes, I am an Anglophile.  In my younger days, I tried to figure out ways to move to Britain-seriously.  I looked into studying abroad and even teaching abroad.  I wanted a "flat" and ride the "tube" and go to "pubs."  I have a scrapbook about Great Britain, London especially.  A former teacher has a daughter who lives in London and works at Yves St. Laurent, and I cannot help but feel a twinge of jealously.

I have a magazine collection, dating back years about the late Princess Diana.  I recorded her funeral.  I bawled as if a family member had died.

courtesy Mario Testino

Yep, I am That person.  Two years ago, I got up at 2 in the morning, knowing that I had to go teach within hours, and not only, recorded, but watched Prince William and Catherine Middleton marry!  I even cried at that.  And now my obsession has moved to Diana's sons' generation.  So you can imagine that, yes, for the last month, I have been one of those people glued to the TV, Facebook, Twitter awaiting the birth of the Prince or Princess of Cambridge.

courtesy Mario Testino

And, now the little prince is here.  He is lovely and I can't wait to hear his name, watch him grow up, and continue my obsessive need to devour information about the British Royal family.  NAME:  George Alexander Louis-I love it-very regal and distinguished!

courtesy PA

Getty Images

I asked Jim if he thought I was weird for having this obsession as we watched news coverage the other night.  He looked at me and said, "Hey, it's what you like."  I melted.  No judgment and an understanding that he doesn't have to "get it" or love it either.  He just accepts it as a part of me.  Just like my collection of romance novels-oops-another secret….

There.  That felt cathartic and some of you know a bit more about me.  Judge and eye-roll all that you want, but I LOVE it!

Half a year

Yes, I have been absent…for half a year!  I just don't have an excuse.  I have neglected this place.  And I wished I hadn't.  I have had a great 6 months or so, physically and even mentally.  The kiddos are good.  I just have been LAZY!

Quick catch-up:

Jack finished 2nd grade and will be on to 3rd.  He struggled this spring. I just wished I had more one-on-one time to develop our relationship.

Stephen graduated preschool and is looking forward to kindergarten.  He has an awful SASSY mouth and has frequented time-out more this spring.

Nicholas is as high-maintenance as ever.  Happy and cuddly one minute and totally mad the next.  He thrived in preschool and I can't wait for him to start his new one this fall.

Ella is a PRINCESS ANGEL!  She learned to crawl, stand, furniture surf and walk!  She is nearly 15 months and such a spoiled little girl.  And after too many ear-infections and rounds of antibiotics, she will be receiving tubes on the 25th!  I hope we see a different kid like every one says we will.

I still struggle. Every. single. day.  I felt almost pushed out of my profession when I wasn't asked to be on the curriculum team that wrote our new English curriculum-made me feel like no one trusted me.  I begged for a professional development opportunity and my boss was more worried about how my family would cope without me.  Maybe I am not good and I shouldn't be teaching, but I want the opportunities to prove myself because apparently the classroom setting isn't enough.

We have enjoyed the summer with a trip to Yellowstone. It was exciting and fun and I can't wait to get our pictures back!

I promise to be back sooner.

I'm Walkin' on Sunshine!

Well, not really, but I am getting there. I have had some pretty big breakthroughs this last month and was finally honest with myself about many aspects of my life.  Some are not pleasant and others are.  I still have tons of work to do, but TODAY is a glorious day and I am looking forward to the new year no matter what it brings.

Here are my glorious babies and family!  Enjoy the Christmas Season and the New Year.  Love to all, Tasha and the Boys, plus one!

Almost 8 Months

My ray of sunshine

Ginger Kid

Mr. Sunshine

The Archers-2012

Life with FOUR + 2

The FOUR

Yes, it HAS been almost 3 months since I last checked in.  What can I say that isn't already obvious?  Life with four, plus two, is hectic.

As the weeks pass and they turn into months, and eventually, years, I am always struck at how I get by day by day.  How do I do it?  I think most often, I become a robot or even a zombie, and. yes, even a robot-zombie.

It takes the energy out of me. The giggling, hitting, shoving, screaming, crying, whining, barking just kills me. I feel that I have lost myself. My identity.  If someone would have asked me 10 years ago who I was, I could tell you, but now, I really have no clue.

I want me back. But I want me back in a way that is compatible with the four, plus two. My therapist and I are working on uncovering the guilt that plagues my life and makes me anxious and so angry. I have figured out the cycle, and I am learning to stop it. But to be honest, some days I want to feel depressed.  It feels comfortable to me.  But, the urge to be happy is winning out, and I want to be there for my four, plus two!

I just need to add ME to that equation and I will be fine!

End of Summer....

For some reason I always think of August as a fall month, and it is because I know I will be back in school by the end. But that is okay. This year I am determined to do life and career differently: Life first, career second.
I will be doing my best at keeping school at school. I will also be praying that my vertigo will not be bad and I can get it under control.  New doctor in Denver and back to acupuncture I will go!  What. Ever. It. Takes!
I have had a great extended summer!  Being home with my daughter for her first four months has been amazing!  I have watched her change and grow and be pink! I will miss snuggling her and her happy little chortles and grins! But I know I get the weekends and holidays and precious evenings!

Princess Sweetness at 3 Months!

Jackson is excited for second grade. We don't know who his teacher is just yet, but he is excited just the same.

My big boy!

Stevie is looking forward to preschool and our spirited Nicholas will be joining him in the Adventures of Daycare. I cannot believe how big my Boys are getting. Can I get a pause button?

Sleeping cuteness...

As for me, I am the same. I finally took the diuretics and they were a fail. The one thing that we looked forward to at the end of my pregnancy was a flop and so I am back to square one. With a new doctor who is an ENT and specializes in dizziness. We can only hope this chapter soon ends.

Me...On a good day!

Still worried about the Prozac even though I know I NEED it. no questioning that. I just don't want to be one of those people. I don't want to be labeled crazy or anything. I just want to be alive again.  I don't want life to pass me by and at the end of it having regrets.  Which I do. TONS of them.
And the Kitchen Sink?  Well that was okay. There were a few days that I just didn't feel like it and it got piled up, but when I finally went to do them I felt okay about it. It was less...depressing. So that's a start, right?
My goal this month: continue with the dishes and sweep every day.